© Gnome Services, LgB - Waschaei caught on reverse portal cam while peering out onto bridge base prior to airlock release(Fort Lee, NJ, USA) As the pile driver crashed down into his parents cave, Garnish Waschaei plopped out into the world below. It seems his mother was so startled that the gnome baby was propelled across the rock walled room into his fathers right pocket. His mother, alas, was not spared by the very first land drilling on the New Jersey side for the new George Washington Bridge. His father managed to find safety and later bury her on the other side of the Hudson, two feet from the little lighthouse there.
"He used to see the light and know she was resting just a little below," Fort Lee Taxi Driver Bob Peter said. "He said, 'She was beautiful in man-made lighting."
"For decades GW bitterly resented the bridge itself for killing his mother. Then, he was told of the 'blue cabs' that 'could take you to the other side without becoming a Pavement Gnome.' Under the bridge a ritual is honored called "Humming the Shudders" where gnome spark inside the gullet attains peace for Bitter Gnomes if practiced atop 'yeur's motter's bury graev.' In other words, he never grieved his mother's demise. His reputation down there has suffered. Some call him Trump Gnome."
Now, after a gnome lifetime under the "Little graei bridge, up thaier," GW once told his human friend Bob Jerry, "...it's time for me to meet my 26 cousins and pass along great secrets before I mottle. I will cross in the blue cabs to her bury grave someday. I must make amends. But..., on to cousin Igor Igor first."
Gnome Waschaei has consented to allow a group of humans to document his quest. He cannot guarantee the same cooperation from all 26 cousins, some with a legendary lack of cooperation.
- C. Charles Baines
"He used to see the light and know she was resting just a little below," Fort Lee Taxi Driver Bob Peter said. "He said, 'She was beautiful in man-made lighting."
"For decades GW bitterly resented the bridge itself for killing his mother. Then, he was told of the 'blue cabs' that 'could take you to the other side without becoming a Pavement Gnome.' Under the bridge a ritual is honored called "Humming the Shudders" where gnome spark inside the gullet attains peace for Bitter Gnomes if practiced atop 'yeur's motter's bury graev.' In other words, he never grieved his mother's demise. His reputation down there has suffered. Some call him Trump Gnome."
Now, after a gnome lifetime under the "Little graei bridge, up thaier," GW once told his human friend Bob Jerry, "...it's time for me to meet my 26 cousins and pass along great secrets before I mottle. I will cross in the blue cabs to her bury grave someday. I must make amends. But..., on to cousin Igor Igor first."
Gnome Waschaei has consented to allow a group of humans to document his quest. He cannot guarantee the same cooperation from all 26 cousins, some with a legendary lack of cooperation.
- C. Charles Baines
3 comments:
What a fun story. I was surfing the web using Stumble Upon in my Firefox browser and this little "Taxi" Gnome popped up. May he find his cousins and settle his score!
Ed Pflagle, Ontarario
P.S. I will be back!
You go Garnish! Leave a TIP!!!!!!!!!!!
S. Chauncey, Jackson MS
There is no such thing as a Taxi nome
Bill T.
NYC
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