(Roeters) Gnomeland Security has today intercepted an online application by the rogue Gnome Garnish Waschaei (4Zgnome-BC) to compete professionally with the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR.)
The Gnome in application photograph courtesy of CHAW
Bubba L. Frippee, Executive Director of Ceeping Hackers A Way (CHAW) said his group was working in tandem with NASCAR to verify the application's authenticity. "We... (long pause as he wiped spilled brown chaw with tiny, fluffy leaf from his starched 'work' shirt)... we... (additional long pause as he repeated the procedure)...um... (once more, now having perfected the method)... we don't take lightly to these here e-lectronic fraudlent' online claims which could have been 'purpeted' against this new celebrity. Gnome."In other words, the application might have been entered with the distinct intention to discredit the undercover Gnome who is reportedly attempting also to enroll as a Taxi driver. He is not on record as having a human driver's license. If it were proved that he has applied without one he would be committing a Gnome felony in that Gnomes aren't supposed to man a car.
-C. Charles Baines, Agencies du Gnome
