"Hold your lung air and climb! Don't stop till you reach the little grey bridge...," then... (a rushing sound of wind...,) Whoosh!, followed by Puh-Twang!... (similar to pursed lips expectorating a prune pit out of the window a moving 1959 Studebaker.) - C. Charles Baines
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© C. Charles Baines, Agencies du GnomeAt City Hall, a stunned Elbert Farmway
at Mayor Bloomberg press conference.
Farmway resigns post, will not run for Taxi Commissioner; Charged with hiding bad wig Gnome
(APA, USA) Gnomeland Defense Director Elbert T.Farmway announced his resignation today after allowing Bitter Gnome Garnish Waschaei to surface in Fort Lee, NJ despite blaring intelligence reports of links to Donald Trump and his Hair Gnome.
It was allegedly the Trump Hair Gnome who appeared to have forced Rosie O'Donnell's hand to "swoosh" her hair into a Donald Doo © while appearing on the television program, The View according to Waschaei.
He mailed a media packet with two photographs which he claims to capture the moment in which the lightening-fast Trump Hair Gnome left his host after causing this calamity between the two celebrities. Waschaei said proof of his cousin's moment of exit lay in the gap-mouthed expression by the two as he exited the scalp area by pushing off with his toenails. Thus the open mouth look of surprise by both.
Authorities with Gnomeland Defense questioned the two and both denied remembering a Wig Gnome springing from below their scalps. Further examination by DR. Milton Stewart of the Island Gnome Laboratories did indeed reveal "Two sets of six parallel scratches. Scratches which would match up with a springing gnome minus the weight of a bad wig," he said at the podium.- C. Charles Baines
